Gratitude, Dec 28th

I am grateful for my husband.  Not in a general overall kind of blanket way.  I am grateful for a specific characteristic.  It's not as though he were perfect, because he is not.  Not that he is always sweet and nice because he is not always that either.  It is because our life is boring.  Exactly.  I'm grateful because my husband has brought a type of sameness to my days.  Every day, every week, every month, predictable,  peaceful, uneventful, void of drama.  There is plenty to do, don't misunderstand this.  It's the kind of ordinary, mundane, taking care of each other kind of activity.  I thoroughly resisted this kind of life at first and I gave him lots of grief.  I was used to troubles, upheaval and distress.  When I met him I was being treated for severe anxiety and was in a serious state of physical dysfunction.  Not just myself, but all of us.  At first we brought our dysfunction into his world and he responded with dysfunction.  Like I said, he isn't perfect.  Yet gradually, as the years rolled by, our lives have settled into a routine.  I have only to decide how to use my time wisely and our little bit of money.  Though he takes care of spending the latter, for the most part.  As a result I have found healing and courage.  Boredom is imperative to creativity.  I began to fill my days within the confines of my life.  As I expand, I do so from within the boundaries of my small plot.  I know when to get up and when to go to bed.  When to prepare meals and wash laundry.  Which days to buy food and when to go to Church.  Because of this I can plan my writing and teaching to give me time for everything.  I can choose to reject that which weakens me and embrace that which strengthens.  The peacefulness of my days is inspiring.  I can make mistakes and correct them.  I can finally find out who I am and what I want to do.  It having nothing to do with money.  My husband gives everything everyday but expects nothing.  He leaves me free to choose and I choose to give everything to this life, to this peace.  This is my gratitude for my husband, this mysterious man that I live with.